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Doctor Who?

Posted by the Strawboss on January 29, 2015 in ask the Strawboss

Dear Strawboss,

My family wants me to become a doctor, but I enjoy literature and writing a lot more. I don’t want to let them down or have them upset with me because of this. How can I pursue my dreams and not disappoint them?

Alice

 

Dear Alice,

That’s easy! You just enroll in doctor college, and when your folks drop you off, walk in the front door then sneak out the back and head over to writing college for four years. Of course doctor school takes a bit longer, so you’re gonna have to loiter around the campus for four more years, but that should give you time to work on your novel or Twitter account.

After you “graduate,” you’ll need a lab coat and a head mirror to keep up the ruse. At some point, they’ll probably try to visit you at “work.” In that case, just admit yourself to a hospital, then throw on your doctor’s duds when they stop by.

Behind door number two is honesty. Your life won’t be as colorful as an episode of Perfect Strangers and your folks will probably hate you for the length of time your medical education would have taken, but that’s a small price for happiness.

Here’s the deal, if you and your folks have different goals for you, then you can’t make both parties happy, and you shouldn’t even try. If you’re picking out their favorite denture adhesive, then you should make them happy. If you’re picking out your own career, then make yourself happy. You’re the one who will have to do all that book learnin’ and such, so don’t worry about disappointing them. As long as you’re happy and a good person, then they should be happy too.

 

the Strawboss has spoken

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Obamacare

Posted by the Strawboss on January 29, 2015 in ask the Strawboss

Dear Strawboss,

Is OBAMACARE necessary for a 71-year old? What would the PLATINUM premium be for a resident of California?

Old School

 

Dear Ol’ School,

I’m assuming you’re asking because you currently don’t have health insurance, and if so, at 71, you’re taking your life in your hands every time you fart. On the other hand, you’ve made it this far, so you might just wanna coast. Of course, such a laissez faire attitude towards healthcare increases your chances of dying in a Walmart restroom.

Obamacare might be more polarizing than Chick-fil-A catering a gay wedding, but it’s arguably better than a jar of leeches and a bottle of castor oil. As for your premiums, a quote requires a few more details than 71 and California. Head on over to www.healthcare.gov and see what your options are. I need to go pick up some castor oil from Walmart.

 

the Strawboss has Spoken

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I Want to Be a Millionaire

Posted by the Strawboss on January 29, 2015 in ask the Strawboss

Dear Strawboss,

I am age 30. I would like to become a millionaire by retirement (age 65). How can I manage my money to begin the process of becoming a millionaire by retirement?

Doug

 

Dear Dougie,

Earn a million dollars and don’t spend it. Sometimes the best solutions are the simplest. I expect my cut.

 

the Strawboss has spoken

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Aggression

Posted by the Strawboss on September 8, 2014 in Diatribe

break