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Sugar Shocker

Posted by the Strawboss on March 7, 2013 in Diatribe

stk73689corI think I’m a pretty healthy guy. I’m no freak about it, mind you. I will never give up Icees or Sour Patch Kids completely, but I do take good care of myself. So, today I had a hankering for one of my favorite snacks, Granola and Yogurt. I grabbed a couple of light yogurts and saw the sugar content was 13 g’s. Geez. What’s the sugar content for regular yogurt? Twice as much! I went with the light and wobbled over to the cereal aisle. That’s right, wobbled. I had just come from doing a leg workout at the gym and I felt like I had been in a midget mosh pit for the past 4 hours. I got to the granola and compared Meijer’s fare. Let me mention that whenever I see a Walmart employee at Mejier, or vice versa, I always get the urge to yell, “TRAITOR!!!” But I don’t. Anyway, the granolas had between 10 and 15 grams o’ sugar. I decided to check the sugary cereals for comparison. The sugary stuff had 13 grams as well. What the shell? I might as well get Cap’n Crunch! And I almost did…

In frustration, I put everything back, well, the yogurt wound up in ground chuck cooler. Hey, I didn’t have to find a cold spot for it! I coulda been like some people and set it on a shelf to spoil only for it to be put back out for sale by minimum wage employees. Everything was back in its rightful suitable place, but I had a hankering for dried cranberries. As luck would have it, they were on sale! As bad luck would have it, I looked at the sugar content. 29 mother fructose grams! More than twice as much as the sugary cereals and at a smaller serving size! How could that be? Well, the second ingredient was sugar. Fruit IS sugar! Why would anyone add more?! That’s like placing a steak between two hamburger patties, adding a dollop of pulled pork, then wrapping the whole thing in thick cut bacon! Actually, that sounds pretty good… but at 29 grams of sugar, I might as well have bought candy! Which I did.

The way I see it, if you’re presenting something as healthy, it should actually BE healthy. You don’t want to settle down with a church girl only to find out she used to be a stripper. Actually… Never mind. You all know what I mean. It’s not easy being fit.

the Strawboss has spoken

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