Posted by the Strawboss on September 12, 2016 in ask the Strawboss

Dear Strawboss,

After getting a bachelor’s degree, can Austie then become an elementary school teacher?



Dear Anon,

That would all depend on who in the hell Austie is. Is he (she?) a sexual predator or a convicted felon? Even if this gender neutral individual is devoid of a criminal record, there could be issues of temperament and/or hygiene. Does Austie have a lazy eye or a club foot which could become fodder for ridicule? If we’ve learned anything from watching Goonies, it’s that kids can be cruel. And annoying as a f*ck sandwich on potato bread. Basically, you need more than a degree to herd a bunch of crumbsnatchers for six hours a day. Perhaps some grey market Adderall slipped into a few juice boxes.


the Strawboss has spoken

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