Put a Ring Pop on It

Posted by the Strawboss on September 15, 2015 in ask the Strawboss with Comments closed

Dear Strawboss,

Should I ask my girlfriend to marry me?

Chuck

 

Dear Chuck,

FUQ NO!!

the Strawboss has spoken

Spendthrift Spouse

Posted by the Strawboss on September 13, 2015 in ask the Strawboss with Comments closed

Dear Strawboss,

My husband won’t quit spending money! We agree to a budget and then he ignores it and overspends, how can I protect our finances when he won’t?

Gena

 

Dear Gena,

Sounds like he agreed to make a budget, not to follow it. I’d check the wording of your contract. Speaking of contracts, your enslavement marriage vows said richer OR poorer, not richer AND poorer, implying you can pick which one you wish to endure.

You’re working hard to build a life for you and yours, but your husband is either unable or unwilling to work with you. If he is unable, insist that you take control of the finances while he seeks treatment for his problem. If he is unwilling, make like a potato chip and dip. No man is worth jacking up your credit score.

 

the Strawboss has spoken

Something for Next to Nothing

Posted by the Strawboss on September 13, 2015 in ask the Strawboss with Comments closed

Dear Strawboss,

I would like to live comfortably without having to work 40 hours a week. How can I live my life on my terms with comforts?

Katherine

 

Dear Katy,

Basically, it sounds like you wanna live high off the hog, but you’re too lazy to work the farm. I’d tell you to start hookin’, but even then you’d need a pimp, and that muggle fuggle will be in for 20%. There’s the lottery. You’re unlikely to burn through 40 hours in a week with scratch offs, but gambling could easily eat up the 80% Truffle Butter left you with (minus travel, wet wipes, etc.). There are several other paths to easy money with minimal work: Sugar Baby, Drug Mule, Politician, but the reality is, if you don’t work for it, you won’t appreciate it. You might have a lot of things, but without purpose and a sense of pride, all you will have are a lot of things.

We’re born into a world full of laws of man and nature, and while we might occasionally skirt the former, we will forever be slaves to the latter. Basically, life will never be completely on our own terms, and trying to cheat the Man or Nature is a well worn path littered with the bones of more clever fools than yourself. Besides, comfort is not found in the trappings of material possessions, but in peace of mind. Focus on doing something that makes you feel good about yourself as a person, and the number of hours won’t matter so much.

 

the Strawboss has spoken

Walking Around the Corporate Ladder

Posted by the Strawboss on September 10, 2015 in ask the Strawboss with Comments closed

Dear Strawboss,

I’m stuck in a dead end job. How can I make a lateral career move?

Pete

 

Dear Pete,

So you want to move from a spirit draining dead end job to a soul crushing shit job? I’m not sure climbing taking a nap on the corporate ladder scaffolding will be more fulfilling than what you’re doing now. Whatever the case, I suggest you invest in a dictionary before setting your sights on that  middle cubicle.

 

the Strawboss has spoken