Dear Strawboss,
I have a small problem with my girlfriend. She really likes animals, especially homeless ones. However the problem is that now she wants to bring a cat home but I really don’t want to. How can I change her mind?
Jim
Dear Jim,
Unless she likes animals, I’m not really seeing the problem. I understand that you don’t like cats. I don’t either. They strut around the house like their sh*t don’t stink when everybody knows, cat sh*t STANK! And homeless cats? Don’t get me started. I once found a homeless cat on the exit ramp begging for food. Actually, he was begging the homeless guy next to him for food and
the guy traded him to me for a bag of Funyuns. The cat never quite adapted to life indoors. He would only sleep in a cardboard box, gathered cans from the trash and all my loose change kept coming up missing.
Nevertheless, I’m sure your girlfriend does a lot for you that she doesn’t really wanna do. And if she doesn’t, use the new cat as leverage. It’s a total win win. If she doesn’t go for it, she doesn’t get a cat. If she does go for it, well then I guess you both get cats…
I am the Strawboss. Meow