Dear Strawboss,
There’s a woman in our moms group who volunteered to be on a committee. She’s been on the committee now for 4 months and has done nothing for her position. We only meet once a month and she has left each time halfway through the meeting. Since this is a volunteer-only group, is there any way to let her know that she needs to step up and put in more effort?
Mad Mom

Dear Mad Mom,
Aah, the ol’ “How do I communicate with a volunteer?” dilemma. If only volunteers had some type of parabolic appendage on their heads that could funnel sound into some type of processing unit housed in their skulls. Then you could, you know, talk to them…

A lack of financial compensation does not excuse someone from their commitments, so I’m not sure why you’re so hesitant to confront this woman. What’s the worst that could happen? She’ll leave her work undone and leave halfway through the meeting? She’s not bringing anything to the table anyway, so unless confrontation will result in a standoff with SWAT, I really wouldn’t worry about her reaction.

Pull her aside and tell her to step her game up or volunteer her way out the door. Don’t dance around the issue or disguise it as brunch. Just say, “Yo, you ain’t done sh*t! Can you please do sh*t?! D@mn!” You know, but use your own words. And possibly a lil less profanity.

I am the Strawboss.

Dear Strawboss,
I am staying with my parents. Now I want to go to abroad for studying, but I cant leave my parents alone as I am the only child of them. They are not interested in coming with me, and I don’t want to leave them alone…..need your suggestions
Sara

Dear Sara,
Your parents are plural, therefore, by the very definition, they will not be alone. I’m going to assume you’re under 30 and your parents are under 60. If this is true, they’re probably more than capable of taking care of themselves without burning the house down. My guess is that you’re the one that doesn’t wanna be alone.

Put on your big girl knickers and get out there and flap your wings. If you’ve lived with your folks your whole life, your fear is understandable. It’s also kinda lame, but I’m a life coach and I’m supposed to be non-judgmental, so I will replace lame with cautious. Sara, wanting your parents to uproot their lives to follow you across the world so you can have milk and cookies waiting for you when you come home from school is just your way of being cautious. You haven’t left home yey because you’re so cautious, but now it’s time to leave caution behind. Don’t forget I’m talking about lameness here. I don’t want you take off for another country and actually leave caution behind. You’ll wind up getting sold to some Arab Sheik like in Taken.

Be honest with yourself about your fear and only then will you be able to defeat it. Go abroad, study, live your life and allow your parents to do the same.

I am the Strawboss.

Dear Strawboss,
I am 22 years old and I have a beautiful girlfriend… I am a student in college about computer programming. My big love is Music, I am a DJ. I don’t make money from either of those. We are having some financial problems. Should I stop both and find a job??
Dimis

Dear Dimis,
People who don’t make enough money have financial problems. People who don’t make ANY money just have problems period. That’s like someone who rides the bus saying they’re having car trouble. Yeah, the trouble is, you ain’t a got a car!

I find it interesting that you mentioned that your girlfriend is beautiful before launching into your financial woes. That tells me that you know as well as I that pretty girls are high maintenance, so you either dust off your resume or your bottle of Jergens. An ugly girl will be content with fried bologna and riding shotgun in a sidecar. But the pretty ones, they’ll make you work until you’re in an early grave, and then for a good 6 months after that.

Then again, students are supposed to be broke. It reminds them why they’re in school in the first place, to give themselves a better opportunity to have a more comfortable life. If the DJ gig isn’t bringing in the scratch, put it on the back burner for while and get yourself a job. Maybe you can find something related to what you’ve learned so far in computer programming. But under no circumstances should you quit school. Don’t barter your future for short term gains.

I am the Strawboss.

Dear Strawboss,
I live with two other women and a man. We women clean up after ourselves and keep things tidy and organized. The man, we will call him Corey, leaves dishes in the sink and his clothing in common areas. My other two roommates complain about him but end up cleaning up his mess anyway. I feel they have enabled his behavior since we moved in! How do I get Corey to clean up after himself?
Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,
He lives in a house with 3 women, why should he clean up after himself? While I’m at it, he shouldn’t have to cook, do laundry or draw his own bath either.

Sorry about that. My friend Corey was on my computer. First of all, you nailed it with the enabling comment. When you’re around 2 and everyone does everything for you, you start craving a lil independence. You frequently yell, “I can do it!” You can’t, but you still give it the ol preschool try. But by age 6, you realize doing stuff on your own kinda sucks, and if people are still doing things for you , you let ‘em. So as long as the other old maids insist on taking up the slack, you’re roomie is gonna keep slackin’. Unfortunately, while slackers are more than happy to let you clean up after them, they’re just as content living in filth. What you get is a battle of wills to see who will blink first, and the fastidious folk always cave first.

Your best bet is to get a new roommate, or just make do with the Spinster 3. I must admit, I’m a little perplexed as to why you need FOUR adult roommates in one edifice. The 4 of you are one drunken night away from a spinoff of Sister Wives. If the rent is high, maybe you should downsize. Maybe you won’t get the area or options you’d like in your price range, but at least you’d have peace of mind. Unless it’s New York and you wind up living in a rat infested, perpetual crime scene of a hole in the wall. Then Crusty Corey won’t seem so bad.

I am the Strawboss.

Swinging: You're doing it wrong.