Archive for July, 2009

Just Say No

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

I’m chatting it up with a pal the other day, and she tells me she’s on an anti-depressant called Frown Be Gone, or something like that. Now, I think we’ve gone a lil overboard with prescribing drugs in this country, but I’m not gonna go all Tom Cruise on her. But it did get me thinking. I know a LOT of people popping pills!

Antidepressants, Anti-anxiety, ADD drugs, drugs to focus, drugs to sleep, drugs to cheer us up. But do we really need all these drugs? When I asked my friend why she was depressed, she explained that she’d been having a rough time for the past couple years. Without going into too much detail, she basically wasn’t happy with the way her life had been going. Well, that’s situational depression, which means your situation needs to change for you to get better. If you think your life sucks, you’re supposed to be depressed! That’s your motivation to change it!

And if you’re doing something boring, you’re SUPPOSED TO BE BORED! We all have trouble focusing on a long, dry meeting at work. You don’t need medication. Show me a guy who’s ever had trouble focusing on a pair of Double D’s. “I’m trying to check out these boobs, but my mind keeps wandering, Doc!”

Sleep meds? Hello! You take meds to sleep at night, you wake up sleepy so you down 36 cups of coffee to get thru the morning, 13 Mountain Dews to blow thru the afternoon, then you hit bedtime with enough caffeine in you to jump start a 747, so you take meds to go to sleep, then you wake up sleepy… you see where I’m going?

Listen, depression, boredom, sadness, irritability, we all go through these things. They’re as much a part of life as happiness and laughter. And while drugs can help regulate these feelings, they rob us of the natural ability to do it ourselves. Without that ability, we will forever be dependent on chemicals that will never make spreadsheets exciting, mother-in-laws less irritating, or an unfulfilled life meaningful.

Don’t get me wrong. If you’re hearing voices telling you to go Jeffrey Dahmer on your neighbors, then, by all means, GET ON SOME DRUGS! For everyone else, find out what’s going on inside and address it.

I am the Strawboss. I want a new drug. One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you.

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Going Crazy

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Strawboss,
I swear it is like every other day, people get their feelings hurt b/c I was supposedly ignoring them or leaving them out or I said something that hurt their feelings or I dressed nicer than them and THAT offended them. Take my sister, for example. She has such low self esteem, that she cries if she feels I look better than her. Then I have to comfort her and reassure her that she’s attractive and beautiful. How do I let people know that not everything I do is about them without hurting their feelings? I know what it’s like to feel that way, so I don’t want to be cruel.

Going Nuts

Nuts,
Who’s your sister, the step mom from Snow White and you’re her magic mirror? Unless you’re performing a Chris Rock style of comedy at their expense, you need to tell the people in you’re life to grow thicker skin.

People too easily get caught up in patterns, and I suspect this is what is happening with you and your loved ones. They get hurt, and because you empathize so deeply with these feelings, you feel it’s your responsibility to mitigate their pain. Now you’re caught in an endless cycle of pouting and consoling.

It’s not your job to constantly monitor everyone’s feelings like some Emotional Groundskeeper. It’s your job to be kind, respectful, and, above all, honest. You have to be the one to break the cycle. Eventually they’ll toughen up or employ someone else to maintain their garden of self esteem.

I am the Strawboss. You make it look like I am the crazy one here.

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