Bad Boss

Posted by the Strawboss on March 3, 2012 in ask the Strawboss

Hi Strawboss,
My name is John and I am getting tired of my boss ‘doing nothing’ at work. How do I get her to help where and when needed? We all ask her but it would appear she has ‘selective hearing’.

Hi John,
I’m not sure you can get her to do anything. That’s what makes her the boss. Any attempt to get her on task by slacking off or telling her boss is likely to backfire. My mom used to make me get her water all the time, even if I was upstairs and she was right there in the kitchen! One day I had enough and I yelled down to her, “Get it your d@mn self!!” Actually, what I said was, “Get your d@mn…” then I woke up in the middle of my mother’s aggravated assault trial. I was in full traction and unable to smell out of my left nostril. I thought she had finally succeeded in knocking me into next week, until the prosecutor informed me that I had simply been in a coma.

If your boss is a real slacker, then hopefully the powers that be take note of it. In the meantime, document your all of your work so no one else can take credit for it. If you get really desperate, have a friend call her posing as a headhunter offering her a much higher paying job with far less work. Rent out an office and hire some actors to make it all look legit. Wait until she’s well into her second week at her new “job” before you close up shop and leave her standing outside of an empty office building. Include a note with the word BOOYAH! taped to the door.

I am the Strawboss. “Get it your d@mn…”

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