I have a twin brother that is in a relationship. He has been with this person for 5 years now and they are not a fit couple, for example they always fight with one another, they do not get along, and he is always threatening to move out. He never follows through. In my opinion they are not a good match for each other but he wont seem to listen to me. Any advice you can give would be of great help. I need to know if my part as a sister is to keep talking to him in hopes that one day he will listen or do I back away and let him find out on his own? Much appreciated.
Dear Sister Concerned,
If there is one thing I’ve learned as an online advice columnist, it’s that people will relentlessly try to spam your site. If there are two things I’ve learned, it’s most people don’t want advice. They do, however, want support, as defined as “agree with my current decision at the moment.” I do not offer such support, and that may very well be linked to my current lack of friends.
Your brother knows he’s in bad relationship. He’s just not ready to go, and there’s nothing you can do, short of kidnapping one of them, to break up the relationship. If two people are in a jacked up relationship, they didn’t get there by being smart. Therefore, talking good horse sense will have the same effect on them as Super Size Me had on junk food junkies, it makes them hungry. In relationship terms, that means they will cling harder to prove you wrong. Ridiculous, I know, but people in general are stupid. If you don’t believe me, read up on what bodily fluid the Chinese cook eggs in.
I understand that you do not wish to see your brother go through it, especially if he’s bringing his janktastic drama to your ear canals, but that’s the price you pay when you choose to care about the stupid people in your life. You’ve spoken your mind, now just lay back and pretend to be the loving, caring, non-judgmental sibling that he always wanted. Soon or later, one of them will leave or be found in the trunk of someone’s car. Either way, the monkey is off your back.
I am the Strawboss.